Why new years resolutions don’t work out
The time of the year when you reflect and wonder why some goals did not work out, and why some did. Why? Why? Why?
As I puzzled over this and began the process of setting my own goals for next year, it occurred to me one of the reasons which are not usually taught. Often, we berate ourselves. You overhear people saying things to themselves (me included), you would never say to your best friend! You speak to yourself like a parent addressing a naughty child.
Then the penny dropped. That is why so many goals don’t work out long term. A naughty child may well mend his or her ways for a short time but then reverts to a self-sabotage program. Think about it. If you tell a child not to do something very firmly, they may well obey you for a little while, then it starts to unravel. It is no different when I berate myself for not achieving a certain goal. I hate to be told what to do, and this perverse streak in me does the opposite of what I should be doing!
Think about your self-talk. Are you telling yourself off, like a dominant parent, or are you inspiring yourself with goals that really are fulfilling, exciting and wild!
We have heard the SMART formula until we are bored out of our brains. I don’t agree with it, and here is why.
Specific. Yeah, that is fine. Measurable. Sure, fair enough. Achievable. Huh! I don’t think so. If you asked the world-famous athlete Usain Bolt if what he was aiming for was achievable, what would he have said? It had never been done before, so achievable is not smart. Brilliant goals have never been achieved before. Is it Realistic? No! You are putting yourself in a box, and that is one thing I have been trying to escape from, for as long as possible. Timeframe. This could be helpful or you end up joining the huge group of procrastinators, but if you do miss your deadline target date, remember not to berate yourself like an angry parent, or you will push your goal off into the sunset somewhere.
Remember to have fun writing your new year goals! If you believe you can, you are halfway there already.
Have a fantastic year – from the team at Scope Business Coaching.